Overcoming Fear
Published January 9th, 2008I recently overcame a fear that had been plaguing me for the last 30 years. Yes….that’s right….the dreaded roller coaster. Now I realize that many of you thrill seekers are thinking, big deal, but I am the person who pictured myself being ejected from the coaster, being catapulted through the air and landing with a big splat into the parking lot below. The rational side of me knew that this was highly unlikely, but the rest of me kept thinking “that’s not how I want to die”. In the past, on a few occasions I have pondered just jumping in and doing it, but when I got up close and saw how high the coaster went, the screaming people above, and the coaster hurtling towards me at breakneck speed, I balked.
A couple of years ago, I made a life list. For those of you that don’t know, it’s a list of everything you want to do or accomplish before you die. My list contains simple things like getting over my fear of the electric toothbrush, to visiting the Galapagos Islands. Ofcourse riding a real roller coaster is on there. Now we all have hopes, dreams, and things we simply must do for ourselves, but there are some advantages to making this list and putting it in writing:
1) Putting your goals in writing brings them closer to reality. You can see them, and they are brought to the front of your conscious mind. When an opportunity arises to tackle something on your list, you are much more likely to do it.
2) By putting tasks or goals in writing, you are making a commitment to yourself to do them, think of it as a larger version of a daily “To Do” list.
3) The satisfaction of accomplishing your goals, and crossing off or highlighting something from your list will encourage you to do more in your life.
In the age of reality television, we have had the chance to see people face some of their fears in front of the whole world. Sometimes we can really identify with them, and sometimes we think nothing of it. This brings up the idea that fears exist really only in your own mind. We often don’t face our fears because we are scared of the consequences such as injury, death, large monsters, humiliation, and failure. We also make excuses like no time, money, or opportunity. If we can rectify things in our mind first, then physically facing our fears becomes a realistic possibility.
I realise that everybody is different, but I will share with you the steps that I took to overcome my lifelong struggle in the hope that it may be helpful to you:
Break it down
Think about what exactly are the physical things and feelings that scare you. Then look at ways to tackle these things individually first. For example, in order to get used to some of the feelings and motions, I first rode in the safety of some 3-D simulation rides. I also rode kiddie coasters to get used to the loss of control but at a much lower speed and much closer to the ground in case I in fact did get ejected! I also thought about other large and challenging tasks that I have accomplished in the past. I also focused on the feeling of satisfaction and confidence when I did something outside of my comfort zone.
Make a plan about how to face the fear on the day itself
The day we went to the theme park I surrounded myself with 3 very supportive people who were willing to help me on my mission. We went on a small warm up ride first. I did my research on the 2 big coasters we were going to do that day, so I had an idea of what twists and turns to expect. For example, I knew that my feet would dangle from one so I tied my shoes extra tight! The other one I knew that there was a huge drop towards the water (somehow I convinced my self that it was safer to go hurtling towards the water at 60mph!) I also felt happy about the over-the-shoulder safety restraints and seatbelt taking care of my ejection fear. We first went on the coaster where our feet dangle, and I sat in the middle of the coaster and the row so that I would not have to see as much. I’m glad we did that coaster first, because I could see everything on the huge one that we did next.
Focus on having a positive attitude
I made a promise to myself to have a positive attitude, even if I was scared, because today was the day I was going to get over a lifelong obstacle. Even though many people turned around scared and walked away from us in the long lineup, I did let them phase me since they had their own fears. I focused on all of the procedures that I had done for the first time where a patient’s life hung in the balance and the positive outcomes, so surely I could accomplish this where I didn’t have to do anything but hold on! Although I was scared, I focused on the support, the goal, and enjoying my accomplishment. The truth is, that even though my eyes were closed some of the time, I had a huge smile on my face during the entire ride! Smiling not only makes you happy, I forces you to relax some of your muscles.
Revel in the outcome
The smile on my face, and the high-fives all around were a wonderful feeling. I can honestly tell you that I immediately felt lighter for having dumped 30 years of fear on a 1 or 2 minute ride. I not only rode 2 monster coasters, I went upside down too! That day I faced what scared me, expanded my comfort zone, and grew as a person. I will never forget the support and encouragement that I received that day. We even bought the cheesy overpriced picture of us as a reminder of the accomplishment, and encouragement for future challenges.
No matter what you fears are, no matter how seemingly small and insignificant, facing them does make you a stronger and lighter person. Doing things outside of your comfort zone makes you even more open-minded. There is nothing wrong with feeling like you can do anything–it opens up so many more doors that you previously thought were wedged shut.
Oddly enough, now I feel like the old saying “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” really does apply to me! I wish you nothing but the best of luck in your continued journey to face challenges, and fully experience some of the wonderful things that life has to offer.
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